Weird Tumblr Themes
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
ehehehelokid:

I MEAN COME ON WHAT ARE THE ODDS FOR THIS HAPPENING

ehehehelokid:

I MEAN COME ON WHAT ARE THE ODDS FOR THIS HAPPENING

narcolepsy-realness:

thelilnan:

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

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THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

oh mY GOD

mchaha:

rewolf:

3ridan:

stay out of my lana del way

what the fuck did u just lana del say

you just made my lana del day

the-yolocaust:

i have never seen a hall monitor before in my life im pretty sure they dont even exist

jorjafoxed:

eiyoko:

What if our actual lives involve saving the world with our friends and doing really epic stuff

but in this dimension we’re in someone’s high school AU fanfiction or something

#i am not getting laid anywhere near enough to be in someone’s high school AU

orelpuppington:

reminder that there was a fairly odd parents movie where drake bell played timmy turner who was canonically 23 and still in elementary school

orelpuppington:

reminder that there was a fairly odd parents movie where drake bell played timmy turner who was canonically 23 and still in elementary school

rectumofglory:

firelordazula:

Recreate any game/film/album cover using only clip art and Comic Sans

i’m scREaming at ursula omG

rantsfromprincesslauren:

cooltrainershells:

Recreate any Game/Film/Album cover using ONLY Clipart and Comic Sans

The great American Novel.

The Mediocre Gatsby.

ashes-fall:

oh uh……hi

awesomephilia:

No the stars are in the sky

awesomephilia:

No the stars are in the sky

ohmybenedict:

songofthestarwhale:

shaitana:

221bitssmallerontheoutside:

theweepingangelwhofellforburgers:

sirenshadow:

jamandbees:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

ohshititsgreg:

darrynek:

arms hurt? saw them off

How do I saw off the second arm

Tumblr asks the real questions

Everyone on this website is a phycopath I swear

*psychopath. Do your research.

*Sociopath. Do yours.

Alright Sherlock, don’t make me get Mummy.

Are YOU my mummy?

No, your mummy is dead because she burned up on the ceiling

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